[00:00:00.000] - Speaker 1
Today, we're going to talk about the need to simplify. I'm doing this live on this topic because I chose simplify as my word of the year. Lately, I've been just feeling really overwhelmed and spread thin, and I knew that I needed to say no more. I needed to reassess where I was and in the different areas of my life. I felt like there was a lot of things that had happened, especially later in the year, that I felt I'm really just burdened by it. There was a lot of things that were happening that I felt like I was spreading myself too thin and I had to reel back in. I decided to choose the word simplify as a way to get rid of those things that are unnecessary, those things that I piled onto my plate, but I don't necessarily need or want on my plate, and looking at ways to embrace the word simplify. That's what I'm going to talk to today about how I am going to embrace this word simplify. But first I want to know, have you ever chosen a word of the year? Is that even something that you've heard of before?
[00:01:12.030] - Speaker 1
Instead of coming up with all kinds of different goals and different a bucket list, which I'll talk about in a second, I like that idea of just embracing one single word and using it almost as a way to decide what it is that I want to put on my plate, what I don't want to, by using that word simplify, by using that word of the year. In other words, if something was to come, a decision that I need to make or something that an opportunity, I can go back to that single word and say, Will this help me simplify? Will this help me connect? Will this help me be more aligned? These are some of the words that I've chosen in the past. I've gone with a contentment, intention, connection, alignment, and this year will be simplifying. Have you ever chosen the word of the year? Have you heard about this? What is your word of the year? If you decided to choose a word of the year, what did you choose? That's my dog. My dog is a pug and snores and makes loud noises all the time. I just want to make that clear.
[00:02:24.070] - Speaker 1
That is him in the background. But when I was considering, at the end of the year, I was considering, what am I going to do for this next year? I love the idea of New Year's. It's this clean slate and this resetting point. I know there's lots of controversy about it. Whether you're going to pick a New Year's resolution and why pick a New Year's resolution when in February you're going to not... Two weeks into January, even, it's not going to even apply, so why go through that problem? I like the idea of having a new year, and it's this resetting and assessment and this rebirth, honestly, about how to... Okay, we have this whole new year ahead of us. What am I going to do differently? How am I going to grow? It gives you this opportunity to be able to look back in the year before and have this time period where you can look at and be like, What has happened? What did I do? What memories did I make? What do I want to do? What What do I want to take from last year? What do I want to leave in last year?
[00:03:33.940] - Speaker 1
My last Facebook Live at the end of last year, I focused on, Are you going to take regrets or lessons? I love that idea of being able to enter that new year, knowing or entering it with intention, I guess I should say, and having that year ahead of you to be able to make some plans and make some changes in their life. When I first decided to choose the word simplify, I went through different words, and I'm like, Should I choose purpose? Should I choose... Trying to think of what other words were swirling around in my head of possible ideas. I started thinking about all the things that... Grace. Holly, I just looked down and refreshed it. And Grace, yes. I actually had that as one of the suggestions at the end of the slide. But when I was trying to figure out what word I was going to choose for this year, I looked at what do I want to feel? What do I want to feel? What is going on with me right now that I want to change? And like I mentioned, it was that overwhelmed feeling like I was stretched too thin.
[00:04:49.300] - Speaker 1
I felt like I was casting a wide net, and I was just grabbing onto everything. In fact, this morning, I was going through my papers, and I came across I don't mind the nasty tape and stuff, but this was all my wall. I had created it at the end of last year, or not at the end of last year, at the beginning of last year. I don't know if you can see this, but I had all of these things that I wanted to do. I wanted to book at least three speaking gigs, join a networking group, finish writing a book, which I had written one chapter before that, save $10,000 in the bank, attend a professional conference, all these huge things, which I guess weren't really that huge. But when there's 18 of them, this morning, I counted them when I was preparing for the slide. I'm like, What was I thinking? I'm like, No wonder. I only got done... Let me see. One, two, three, five of them. One, two, three, four, five. I got five of them that I did out of 18, which is sad, really. But I'm like, I need to practice grace myself, Holly.
[00:05:56.750] - Speaker 1
I need to practice grace and see, okay, I was totally not realistic by choosing all of those. It's funny because my cousin, when I shared that with her at the beginning of last year, she's like, Wow, she's like, That's a lot. She pointed it out, and I was like, Oh, I could do it. I could do it. This year, I was like, I need to start saying no to things. I need to zero in. Instead of casting that wide net, go deeper. When I first put out the idea, you may have seen the post, I was I am going to say no to one thing each month. I decided I was going to... I asked for ideas. I'm like, Okay, no television, even though I don't really watch much television. But I'm like, One month of not watching it might It's been a little difficult. No makeup one month, no spending. I feel like that would be hard. I'd have to make some rules around that. Of course, we'll need food and that thing. No social media. I'm like, But how do I do I was like, I have you guys. How do I get on Facebook?
[00:07:04.880] - Speaker 1
I might have to create some rules around that because my business here is being built on Facebook and social media and all this. There were some things I'd have to overcome or work out. But the more I thought about this, the more stressed I felt. It became this restriction, and I was like, This is too complicated. Too confident. I actually even considered changing my word back to purpose because I was like, Well, if I'm going to take one thing away each month, it's purposeful, right? And I'm like, No, that goes against what I want to embrace. I need to be simplified. I need my life to be simplified. No, we're simple. Why am I going to change my word based on... It just didn't make sense. It just didn't make sense. I decided I wanted to scrap that whole idea and go with the word simplify and make it simple. The funny thing is, is when this all was happening and I was thinking of my word and how I was going to embrace simplify, in three different instances, I came across the 12-week year, which is a book by, I think Brian Nolan. I should have wrote that down.
[00:08:26.910] - Speaker 1
I'm sorry. I'll actually link to in the comment section when I get done recording here. This book, I read it probably two years ago, but three different people mentioned that they were going to implement this book into their life. And one of those is somebody in my business group that I meet with every single week. We've been meeting for the last two or three years, and she suggested that maybe we do this as a group so that we can hold each other accountable. And then there was two other people that have mentioned it, and I was like, You know what? I'm like, Sometimes God just send you a sign. I felt like this was the sign, right? I'm like, This is probably going to help me embrace this word simplify. I jumped on it I did not reread the book, but instead I watched some YouTube videos, read some blog posts, and I was like, All right, you know what? This is going to help me embrace simplicity. Simply because of this thing right here. And look at all of Look at all these goals. I'm like, What was I thinking? Anyway, the idea of the 12-week year is you've only focused on a few goals, and you focus on them for 12 weeks.
[00:09:43.650] - Speaker 1
So you're not looking at the entire year, you're only looking, you're narrowing your focus, which is what I needed to do. I needed to go deeper instead of wider, and just working on or working towards the maximum of three goals. What we first did was we wrote down all of the things that we... We did this on our own, and then we came together and we talked about it, revised it based on each other's feedback. We wrote down a vision of all I love the different areas of our life. Let me think if I can remember. We did our health, our home. Well, I did. These are the areas I did. I did health, home, finances, business. What else did I do? I did five or six different areas. My Relationships, that was another one. I wrote out what is my vision, my overall vision, not just for the 12 weeks, but where do I want these areas to be? How do I feel successful in them? Where do I want them to go? And then I did not take all of them. And some of them I had three or four different bullet points.
[00:11:02.600] - Speaker 1
I only took one bullet point from each thing and made that my goal for the next 12 weeks. I'm going to share with you my goals that I chose that I feel will help me embrace that word simplify. The one is, and I only chose three. That was the hardest part. That was the hardest part. I was like, I am not used to just focusing on just one or two things or even three things. I'm used to, as you could see from my list from last year, I'm like, Let's do it all. Supermom coming out in my life. I feel that focusing only on three goals while it was very hard, it's going to be very effective. I wanted to implement. I focused on my health for one, which I have been. I've actually been working with a naturopathic doctor. I've been like to stand in fitness. I've been going there probably about two or three times a week. But I'm like, I really want to focus on just intentionally implementing some healthier habits into my life. The three that I chose was sleep. It's getting eight hours of sleep, which means I have to go to bed by 9:30 to get up by 5:30.
[00:12:27.810] - Speaker 1
Sleeping eight hours, eating a salad a day. That's something I have been doing, but I usually maybe have maybe five salads a week. So it's not every day. And then moving my body intentionally, whether that is a walk. I had to resort my expectation around exercise. I'm like, I just want to move my body. So that might mean dancing to a song, going for a walk, going to the gym, getting on the floor, and doing some leg lifts, stretching in bed. This could opened up, but I was like, I'll just move my body. Those were three things that were under help. I know you're thinking, Okay, well, those are three things. That should be good enough. That was really why I was struggling so bad. But my friend in my group was like, These are tactics. Those are three tactics that are going to help you improve your health. You focus on your health, you identify the three things, and those three tactics are what you're going to do. Those What are the three habits that you want to use to improve your health. The second one, so that's number one, the second one is relational.
[00:13:39.810] - Speaker 1
I want to connect more with my family. My tactics for that are I'm going to plan a weekly date with each child, a one-on-one date, a bi-weekly date with my husband. We've been going on walks together, and so I do that daily connection. He's been getting like we've been having coffee in the morning, but an intentional planned out date with my husband. I went with bi weekly because I'm like, I only have so much time. If I'm connecting with him daily, bi weekly, if we do weekly, even better. But I'm aiming for a bi weekly. And then that weekly goal with my kids. I've got six kids, 12 weeks. That's two dates over the next twelve weeks, which is a one on one. I already have some planned out. I got my one daughter tickets to Mean Girls to go see the Broadway production. So I'm like, All right, I already got that. I just need to come up with one more date with her. And that's where I bring in my collaboration. And then my third one is a business goal. I will work smarter and not harder. Oh, my gosh, you only knew how much time I spend working in my businesses.
[00:14:54.030] - Speaker 1
I have two businesses, my coaching and my counseling. And so I want to use the power of one to to build that momentum in my businesses. That means focusing on one offer, one program, one way, one solution to helping you get results. That means eliminating some things that I've already created, spent time on, but focusing in and going deeper rather than wider. These are my three goals. My health goal, my relational goal, and my business goal. Three different areas. Instead of focusing on all the other things that I have going on in my life, I plan on focusing and zeroing in on these three things. All the while, embracing that word simplify to help me make decisions whether or not to put the other things on my plate. I plan on to build success into my life, into this next year. I plan on focusing on less goals, decluttering my physical and mental space. I already started. I cleaned up my closet yesterday. It was my first step. I'm like, All right, my physical space. I look around here and I'm like, There's so much stuff. And I also started emptying a bookshop. So I'm taking steps to declutter my physical space, but as well as my mental space.
[00:16:25.060] - Speaker 1
I'm assessing my resources. As I created these goals, I saw what do I already have. I already belong to Planet Fitness. I have FaceTime on my iPad, so that will allow me to connect because, I guess I forgot to mention, along with those relationships and connecting more of my family. It's my immediate family, but also my family of origin. Face timing, calling my mom, talking to her more, my siblings, building those relationships. Got FaceTime on my iPad. I already have the tools in my possession to be able to build those connections. How much time will I need? I went through my planner and a steps, where can I make more time? Where can I carve out time to work on these goals? And then who do I need on my team? That's my pug again that you probably hear in the background. Yes, he needs his nails cut. He sounds like he's tap dancing around our wooden floors. Who do I need on my team? This is where I need to gather team or my support group, my village. I already mentioned my business group. Those women that are in that group, I will continue to hold them accountable and expect them to hold me accountable as I work towards these goals.
[00:17:45.690] - Speaker 1
I will continue to meet with them weekly. I will also continue therapy. I do therapy to help minimize any secondary trauma I may feel because I'm working with my clients, as well as helping me in my personal life and my relationships and all the things. I believe in the power of counseling. I believe in the power of coaching. And so both of them I will embrace in my own life. And hiring a coach is another way that I plan on getting my support system in place. I have been working with a business coach since the beginning of my business. In 2019, I have worked with several different coaches. I use mentors. I read books on business. I am continually thinking about and chewing on, how can I improve my business? As well as how can I improve other areas of my life? Coaches can come in many different kinds. I am not a business coach. I am a coach that helps moms like you create more space for yourself and improve your relationships with others through loving yourself, through changing your relationship with yourself. I also plan on hiring. I'm in the market for a coach, looking at where can I hire a coach and get a coach on my team to help me streamline the process to meet these goals that I plan to meet in 2024.
[00:19:12.130] - Speaker 1
Then communicating with my family. That's a huge one. Talking to my husband, to my kids. That's sleep one. I talk to my nine-year-old. Okay, this is what we're going to have to do in order for me to get in bed by 9:30 and get my eight hours of sleep. I need your help. I need my husband's help to be able to get things done after dinner. I know I don't like that word help, but we need to work together. We need to work as a team. So I guess it's not him helping me. It's more of this is what needs to get done in order for me to be able to meet these goals. And then how can I help him meet his goals? And then tracking my progress. In the back of my planner, there's a little bullet journal part. And so I went there and I created a little tracking chart to be able to track, how am I doing? And my thing is, to be consistent, is I never miss more than two days in a row. So there's going to be days where I don't eat a salad. Yesterday, case in point, but today I know that I will eat a salad.
[00:20:17.050] - Speaker 1
There's going to be days that I don't get to move my body or things are just happening. If I can't, shouldn't say can't, if I do not do I want to do in those days, I know that the next day I will do that. My thing is, life happens, but if I subscribe to the fact, to the idea of not missing more than two days in a row, I'm ahead of the game. I created a chart in the back of my planner to track my progress and to see how I'm doing and what progress I am making towards meeting these goals. I Holly, you already said that you chose the word grace for your word of the year. I love it. I want to know, how are you going to embrace that word grace? It even rimes. It even rimes, embrace the word grace. But if you haven't chosen a word of the year, for those of you who are watching and you haven't chosen the word, I encourage you to just Google Words of the Year. There's so many lists out there. I was like, Well, I can send you one, and I can send you one.
[00:21:30.910] - Speaker 1
If you want a list, just send me a DM. I'll send you a screenshot of a list that I found that will list just ideas, might inspire you to get your mind going. And what is a word that you can embrace for this year? Balance, flow, joy, family, forgiveness, grace, simplify. Use one of our words if you don't know a word. And then ask yourself, how can I embrace this word in the weeks ahead. So your call to action today is to schedule a call with me. If you're struggling with coming up a word of the Year, schedule a call with me, momsooth. Caves. Com/loveyourself. If you're trying to figure out how can you embrace that word of the year? How can you work on your relationships or your health or your home or your finances or if you have a business? I am here to help you, to coach you through these things, to help you create a life that you want to live, to help you create those relationships. If you're looking like if you're married, if you're feeling resentful and you're feeling guilt, the Super Mom Detox is my coaching package where I will walk you step by step on a transformative journey to go from overwhelmed to empowered by reshaping those dynamics of your relationships, the relationships with yourself, with your partner, and with your children.
[00:23:07.040] - Speaker 1
This is where the Supermom Detox is going to help you hang up your Supermom tape, put yourself on your to-do list, learn You're going to have to learn that you are worthy and that you have needs, and that those needs need to be expressed in a way that's going to build up your support team, build up those relationships that you have. If you're interested in talking more and learning more about the Super Mom Detox, schedule a call with me, momsofoutcapes. Com/loveyourself, and let's do this. Let 2024 be the year that you say yes to you. That's all I have today. Again, if you're watching some replay, you have any questions, definitely let me know. I just jumped in. I kept refreshing. I'm like, Holly, you're the only one watching this morning, but I'm so glad that you are. I'm so glad that you are. Give yourself permission to drop the balls. I don't have to do it all, and give yourself forgiveness for those times. Absolutely. I love it. I love it. Stop living on autopilot and start reconsidering how you're living your life and start embracing a new life. Because there's other ways to do this.
[00:24:24.230] - Speaker 1
If you're feeling overwhelmed and you're struggling in the day-to-day life of being a mom and being a wife and doing all the things that you're doing every day, I want to help you transform that. Schedule a call with me and let's.