[00:00:00.210] - Speaker 1
Today, I wanted to share with you 10 ways that self-care changed my life. Now, you know that we've got the self-care challenge coming up here in one week. Oh, I like this. I can actually see. Hey, Rachelle. Good morning. I wanted to come on here and share with you some ways that self-care has changed my life in the hopes that you are inspired to join us in the self-care challenge kicking off February 12th. Rachelle and Holly, you've already done this challenge, so you know what to expect. I would love for you to come join us again, jump into the comments during those accountability posts. We can all use a little refresher, right? I am still making changes and seeing, how can I take care of myself? What do I need? Because you know that that's what it comes down to, is asking yourself, what do I need today? And then putting that into practice, going through, taking action to show ourselves that love, that self-love and that self-compassion. And that's all self-care really is, is just taking care of ourselves and making sure that we are our best version. So let's get into it. Okay, let me switch over to my notes.
[00:01:18.510] - Speaker 1
Let me take you back. Like I just said, there's been times where I've had to really adjust my self-care practices or change based on the season of life I'm in or what I've got going on, what my kids have got going on. I've got to really take a look. It's like a constant being intentional and making sure that I am still not just squeezing time for myself in, but actually intentionally making that time. And that means I need to create boundaries. So I'm always adjusting and always looking at what can I do or what do I need to do in order to make sure that I am taking care of myself. And there have been times in my life where I didn't, right? Or if I did, if I did do anything for myself, I felt extreme guilt about it because I felt like it was taking time away from my family or time away from other people. And that created a lot of guilt within me. And it also created a lot of resentment. I've talked before about how it's changed my relationship with my husband, being able to look at self-care differently and changing my perspective of how I look at that has allowed me to not feel so resentful of my husband, who seemed to be able to do what he wanted.
[00:02:35.510] - Speaker 1
And I felt burdened by all the things that I was carrying that were in my load, my physical and my mental load. And so really shifting the way I was looking at self-care, looking at the way I viewed myself and my role. It was so tied to being a mom. Anything other than what was, what was demanded of me in my mom role. Anything else just left me feeling yuck, left me feeling really bad about doing it. So I had to look at what my identity was tied to, that productivity and that being a mom and doing all the things and all of that. I had to loosen the reins, and I had to really get serious and honest with myself about what does that look like and how is that not serving me? When I started intentionally practicing missing self-care and putting myself on my own to-do list, I ended up... I was at a place in my life. Let me just say that. I was at a place in my life where I was way overweight. I was feeling lonely, and I felt like I had to do more. I was constantly thinking I had to do more.
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And because that wasn't very realistic, I ended up coming up short every time, feeling like there was never anything that I could do that would actually move the needle in my life, really. And so once I started putting myself on my own to-do list and started prioritizing myself and making time for things that I enjoy, once I discovered what that was, I My mental health improved, my physical health improved. We'll go through it. So let's start with number one. I had more energy and vitality. I felt I just had more energy. That's the thing. We think, Oh, taking time for self-care is going to use up my energy. I don't have the energy to do it. But it's this ironic thing that happens. When you start making the time for doing things that are good for you, it actually gives you more energy and allows you to be more productive. Good morning, Mina. I'm trying to figure out my thing. There we go. When I started incorporating, especially, physical self-care, because we know that physical self-care, like exercise, moving your body, is good for your physical and your mental health. It has been proven over time and time again that physical self-care actually helps you in your mental health as well.
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But I started Back in 2011, one of the things that I started doing, making time each day for was... This is so funny. It's embarrassing. I was doing Sledding to the oldies videos. Richard Simmons in my living room, probably with VHS tape. I'm pretty sure it was VHS. I don't think we even had it on DVD. My kids just started… That was something that started changing in my family. It just expected that I was going to do these dance videos. And so started with that. And then eventually, I started Zumba. I told that story before and became a Zoom instructor. I started doing half marathons. I started walking each day with my family, doing more like destination. Like, oh, we got to go to the library. Let's walk to the library. We also live in a smaller town. Right now, I don't think it would take me half a day to walk to library, I think, where I live now. But just making that part of my lifestyle helped me to feel more energetic, and in turn, I was able to do more of it. Okay, so that's number one. Number two, it helped improve my sleep habits.
[00:06:47.520] - Speaker 1
I am a heavy sleeper. I've always been. In college, I've slept through smoke alarms, right? The next morning, to a scary point, right? Thinking I'm like, dang, that was hard. That was hard sleeping and probably not very safe. But I am a good sleeper. But when I started practicing self-care, my sleep became more consistent and regularly. It wasn't that I was napping during the day. I really can't take naps during the day. Now I can. Now I actually can if that's something I wanted to prioritize. But I was actually practicing good sleep hygiene. And it was prioritizing that rest that positively influenced my overall well-being. So while I was, I would say, a good sleeper before I practice self-care, before I was intentional about taking care of myself, once I started doing self-care regularly, I actually improved the way I slept and the quality of my sleep and going more with my circadian rhythms and getting that all in place. So that has definitely helped. My husband's always like, Because I am a morning person, and I don't ever remember a time I wasn't. But of course, in my 20s, I was able to stay up really late and then sleep in in the morning, which that has changed, becoming more regular with that.
[00:08:12.580] - Speaker 1
But my husband was always like, How do you wake up in the morning. He's amazed by the fact that I can wake up at 5:30, my alarm goes off. I do not hit snooze. I sit up on the side of my bed. I do three big stretches. I tell myself my mantra, today is going to be an awesome day. Not my will, but thy will be done. Say my little prayer. And I'm up. And I can do that because of consistency, because that is something that I decided to do. It's part of my self-care practice, but it's the only way I am able to do that is because I practice self-care throughout the rest of the day. It also has improved my physical health. So when I am intentional about my self-care and I am on it, I am making time to do the things that I know good for me, like these good for me habits, reading, learning, exercising, eating right, eating what's good for my body, making sure that I am praying and incorporating maybe some meditation and yoga in my new happy light that I've been doing. All of these things have allowed me to keep my health in check, going to the doctor.
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So for a while there, when I went back to work outside of the home in 2017, I was totally... I mean, I gained weight. I could not figure out how to practice self. I couldn't figure out how to do that while working a full-time job outside of the home, I was commuting in 40 minutes both ways. It really threw me for a loop, and then I gained the weight. So at this point, I'm like, All right, getting serious. And that is where I wanted to prioritize. It's been a while because then I started my businesses and learning all that. So a lot of my time was spent learning and getting coached and learning what it takes to build online businesses. So now I'm at a place like, Okay, now I got to turn back to my health. And during the self-care challenge, it's going to be kicking off on the 12th, we will talk about the different pillars of self-care. And each day, it's not like you do everything that is thrown at you. That's like the self-care list and everything, self-care practices. Yes, I have one. To give you some ideas, but it is too It's daunting to try to do everything.
[00:10:31.980] - Speaker 1
We've got to see what season are we in and what do we need to focus on to make us feel better during that season. Number four is that stress reduction. It allowed me to take some pressure off. When I'm engaging in actual relaxation exercises, not binging out on Netflix or even reading sometimes, that's stimulating my mind. And so, yes, sometimes reading can be relaxing. But for the most part, I really had to learn how to relax because, one, I used to never relax. It used to be torture. What do you mean just sit there and like, I've got too much, too many things to do. I don't have time yet. But then I started learning that relaxation, true relaxation, where you are centering, going inward, focusing on your breathing, clearing your mind, not necessarily emptying your mind, but being aware, that self-awareness piece, all of those things work together to help me destress. When I'm feeling super stressed and I'm feeling pressured, that is where I've got to turn off the dial on my self-care practices because that is the only way that I am going to be able to relieve myself of stress. Stress can do huge damage to your body and your mind.
[00:11:58.620] - Speaker 1
All of those chemicals pumping in your body when you are feeling stressed, it is doing harm to our body. So I really had to get serious about learning ways to reduce the stress of my life. The number five was boosted my immune system. Knock on wood. I rarely get sick. And when I do get sick, I feel like I come back quicker when I didn't care for myself. That whole mantra, Mom can't get sick. We can get sick, but we need to make sure that we're taking care of ourselves and not just pushing through, because otherwise it lasts a lot longer. So giving ourselves the rest that we need. I got my teenagers from school texting me. So let me know, did these first five, I'm going to go through five more, but these first five, it gave me increased energy. It helped me improve my sleep habits. It allowed me to improve my physical health. It has helped me to reduce stress, and it helped build my immune system. Have you found... Because Holly, Rochelle, Mina, all of you have been following. You've been in Mom's Without Caps for quite a long time, and so I know that you've made some changes that have allowed you to incorporate self-care into your life.
[00:13:19.760] - Speaker 1
Have you noticed any of these changes? And let me know. Let me know in the comments. All right, let's go on to how else self-care has changed my Number six, it has allowed me to have more mental clarity and focus. It's allowed me to... These exercises that I've started implementing into my life, journaling. I journal almost every single day. Now, of course, there's days that I just, I don't. But for the most part, I have made journaling a consistent practice because it's allowed me to work through my problems and put things, give things a different perspective when I put I don't put things in black and white or sometimes I write in color. But when I write things out and put words to the thoughts in my mind, that allows me to get this different perspective. And so my journals, I've gone through tons of them. I just started a new one yesterday. And it's just given me that space to put my thoughts down on paper, and it's helped me. It's allowed me to get clearer on what I'm doing, what the heck doing with my life. Slowing down, meditating. I mentioned the happy light.
[00:14:36.820] - Speaker 1
Doing these things, these practices, have allowed me to get a clearer mind, clearer vision, and just shift through all the jumbal in my mind. Holly, you said, yes, you've not fully mastered it, which is great. You've not fully mastered it, which is great for the refresher. Of course, yeah. We all need refresh. Even me, I'm like, what's going on? Why do I feel so stressed out? Then I go back to, What am I doing that is serving me and what's not serving me? How can I make those changes? Self care has also allowed me to up my emotional resilience. We hear a lot about emotional intelligence these days. Being able to be resilient helps tremendously with your mental health. I feel that tackling Learning more about myself and learning some skills has allowed me to be more resilient. I've been aware. My gosh, why? What is... I know what it is because I'm live on Facebook. Let me turn down the volume and see if that works. I keep beeping every time when you guys comment, I think, or something. I get notifications on the Facebook tab. But anyway, I have been able to be less judgy of myself and others because I've increased that self-awareness, and awareness is key.
[00:16:05.380] - Speaker 1
I've been able to shift my expectations to be more realistic, like that gap between what reality is and what my ideal is. Being aware of that gap has allowed me to work on lessening it, which has also allowed me to increase my ability to be resilient. It's also reduced anxiety and improved my mood. You could ask my family. In fact, on episode 200, which is coming up, I will be interviewing my husband, and we'll be talking about the changes that he has noticed because I practice self-care, like the habits. So this is my first guy that I'm going to have on. I had my mom on episode 101, and now I'm having my husband here on episode 200 for the podcast. So just be on the for that. It's coming up. But I have definitely felt less rage, had been more empathetic. And as a result, it has helped me improve my relationships, especially in my marriage. Because like I said, I felt resentful. I felt anger. I felt like this rage inside me. And it came out a lot as controlling and anger. I just wasn't I'm a fun person to be around. Learning how to let Fun Mom out, loosen the reins and do all these things has helped me feel more appreciated, has decreased the anxiety and the worry that I feel less resemen.
[00:17:47.020] - Speaker 1
So as you can imagine, I've improved my relationships, especially with my husband, through all of this. Rochelle, you said you've got less stress when you're engaging in self-care. And like I said, when you feel like you're totally stressed out, that's when you have to look and see what's going on. That's the time that we usually dismiss self-care and say, I don't have time for it. But that's actually when we need to make sure we're doing it the most. The last two things, the last two ways that self-care has changed my life is it has increased self-understanding. Aside from journaling, aside from getting into my own mind doing check-ins and saying, How am I feeling? What do I need? All of these things that allow me to help, to allow me to get to know myself. It has just provided this deeper understanding of myself. Self care comes as not as a thing that I have to do to make myself better. While it does make myself better, it comes from a place of I love myself. And so because of that, I want to do these things to make sure that I'm showing myself love.
[00:19:00.890] - Speaker 1
I'm taking care of my body because I love it and not because I hate it and want to change. There's a big difference there. When you shift your why, it changes everything. It's a game changer. So I challenge myself. I get myself out of my comfort zone because I know that nothing grows in my comfort zone. And so by challenging myself, by doing things that I don't necessarily know how to do, this whole business, starting Moms Without Caps, I had no idea. My brother the other day was saying, that's so amazing. You just built something out of nothing. And it was really just started as this idea. And the more I understood myself, the more... And it's this reciprocal thing. The more I challenge myself, the more I do things that are out of my comfort zone, the more I understand who I am. And then number 10, and I've alluded to this, it has helped me improve my relationships. It has asking for what I need. For a long time, I was I had my husband in a guessing game, and then I would feel disappointed and feel mad because why does he not know what I need when, meanwhile, I had no idea what I need?
[00:20:09.390] - Speaker 1
And so being able to get clear on that has allowed me to communicate, learn their skills to communicate. It's decreased that resentment and the guilt. I'm aware of those thinking distortions. What am I doing in my mind that is creating such a wall? Being able to practice self-care and learning that self-care and me is important, that has allowed me to break down that wall. As a result, my relationships with my family, with my kids, with my husband, even with my extended family, have all improved. All right, so there are the 10 ways that self-care has changed my life. I would love to know how has self-care changed your life? Has changed your life, especially those of you who have been at this for a while. Let me know. In the comments, jump in and let me know how self-care has changed your life. And if you want to, I would love for you to join the self-care challenge coming up on February 12th. Registration is now open, momswithoutcapes.com/self-care Come join. It's five days of intentional self-care. I will support you by sharing with you how to... We're going to define for you what fills your cup.
[00:21:29.560] - Speaker 1
I'm going I'll give you some ways to practice self-care, as well as we're going to talk about, I'll give you some tips and strategies how to carve out that time to practice self-care. Because the number one excuse that moms give is, I don't have the time. Well, we make time for that which we deem as important, and I want to start shifting the way you think about you because you are, gosh-darn important, and you are worthy of making time for. This self-care challenge is going to help you do that. So, momswithoutcapes.com/challenge The link will be in the comments underneath this video. I want to see you in the challenge. All right, take care, everyone. Have a great weekend, and thanks for joining me live, for those of you who are here live. If you watch the replay, put #replay. I am signing off. Take care, everyone. Take care of.
