Onnie Michalsky (00:01.28)
We have here today on the Moms Without Capes podcast, Lauren Mora. Welcome to the show, Lauren. Thank you. Thanks for having me. So Lauren helps moms tackle their week so that they can have less stress, more enjoyment in their all consumed days of raising kids. With three young kids herself, she started to feel overwhelmed with all that she has on her plate. Sound familiar? But rather
than focus on trying harder to be the perfect mom or micromanaging her responsibilities, Lauren did something else. With 10 years of strategic sales background for a Fortune 1500 company, she developed the Rally the Village program to provide moms the support they need each week. Today, Lauren will be sharing with us her solution for dealing with the overwhelmed without sacrificing sanity. So before we dive into all of that great stuff,
Lauren, can you share with us a little bit more about your journey and how you got to be where you are today? Sure, absolutely. I currently live in New Orleans with my husband and my three kids who are at this moment, eight, seven, and just turned four. So we are in the thick of it. If any of you are right there with me, you know what I'm talking about. So I guess I would just quickly go through, when I graduated from college, I went straight into corporate America, which I think a lot of...
I just turned 41. So if you're like about my age, I think a lot of us did that. And I spent the majority of my career there in strategic sales. And when I started having children, I was like, I really don't want to be on the road four and five days a week. I think something in my career needs to change. So I started.
looking around for other things to do. And I had a few jobs through the years that didn't really end up being like what I loved and what I thought I wanted to do. So during the lockdown of COVID, I had all my young children at home. I decided it was a great time to go out on my own and start a business.
Onnie Michalsky (02:03.246)
I'm sorry. My baby was like four months old when we went into lockdown and I was like, Okay, let's start a business. Why not? So. So as soon as the world started to kind of open up, I did I opened up a healthy sauce company. So I was and it was targeted towards very busy moms. That's where I was in my face of life. And I was like, dinner is such a pain point. I want to really help mom solve this.
problems. So I made these delicious and healthy sauces for them to like put on top their meal and feel good about giving their themselves and their kids healthy food. But when I was so I would make these sauces and deliver them to their house. And when I was delivering them, it was so funny because all these moms were like, it turned into little therapy sessions, we would be at the door and just chatting and it always turned to like, this phase of life, everything is so hard. And I'm just so busy and stressed out. And I just started feeling like man I am too like I feel you I really wish that we could.
up with some solutions for like how to attack this phase of life in a better way. And so I think that's where the whole like this whole thing started was to me just trying to solve for that in my own life and how to sort of get through this, you know, phase of raising my kids, which is a long phase. People say it goes by very quickly, but when you're in it, it feels very long. So I started just reading a ton of books and doing a lot of education and
discovery on like what other there's been a lot of moms, you know, in the world of history. I was like, somebody's got to have come up with a better way to do this. So a lot of what I found, I just, it didn't resonate with me or I would try it and not work. It would not work, you know, productivity hacks and time management things or stuff like that. And so I just started playing around with some things in my own house and.
I found that they made really big shifts for me and my family. And so I don't know, I just had this urge like I have got to turn this into a program and share it with other moms because I know that a lot of other moms are in the same place that I am can really benefit from this and, you know, sort of form a community around it. So that's where I started Rally the Village. And here we are, I've been running this community program for a year now. I love that whole idea when you first applied.
Onnie Michalsky (04:11.726)
to be on the podcast and I saw that your website was called that Rally the Village because it truly does take a village and not just to raise kids, but also to raise a mom. Like, and especially during COVID when it was very isolating and it felt like, you know, I remember with remote learning that just kind of put me under a feeling like how the heck can we do this? And so knowing that you're not alone can be huge for so many moms.
Yeah. So what do you find, like in these little therapy sessions you were having and all these conversations with other moms, what were you finding was the big thing? Like you had said, you were already facing that meal time dilemma, but what other things were coming up that?
Yeah, I think when our at that time, my kids were like, really, I mean, they were like three and four, they were really still toddlers. I started to feel them like they're not babies anymore. And like, where's my manual for toddlers? Like I had my baby books of like, feed them at this much at this time, you know, step by step. And when you graduate to sort of toddlers, there's not really a guidebook anymore. So I that's when I feel like I started to feel very overwhelmed at like, um,
it just graduates to a new level of like, you're not just dealing with the logistics anymore. You know, we were all feeling like our kids are getting to be a lot more active. There's activities that get introduced. You know, then you start really having to start think about their social, you know, developmental phases, like the diet, what they're eating. Like there's just so many things to keep track of. And it just keeps coming at us. Like I always say, like to myself, I think the hardest part of
being a mom like that is the, it's like reactive. All this stuff is coming at you and you're just, you feel like, these aren't my priorities. They're other people's priorities, but they land on your plate. And so I think like dealing with them just causes, I think that's like the root of why we feel so overwhelmed. So that's what we were talking through. Okay. Okay. So all of these other responsibilities, all of these things that we don't necessarily need.
Onnie Michalsky (06:27.598)
They're not necessarily our problems, but they keep landing on our plates, like causing us to have to spend more and more plates. Keeping your house going, everything that it takes to raise your kids, keep your house going, keep yourself going, keep your marriage going. I mean, there's so many different facets of our lives and we've had all these plates spinning in the air. You know, we feel like it's, it's our plate. It's we feel like we're holding it. Yeah.
Yeah. So I know one of the when I was digging around like seeing kind of what the village was about. Well, one give us like a bird's eye view of what that looks and then we'll kind of get into the details. Sure. So what I ended up crafting in the beginning was very complicated. It was going to be like this habit tracker and you know, all these things and I was like, this is too complicated. I'm not following this for sure. And so I don't think anyone else will. So I tried to like really think about what's
the root of the problem of like what what I'm facing and then from there solve for it in the easiest possible way. And so what I do in my program with my moms is every week I really just like sort of deliver them in an email the things that take so much time and mental energy to keep track of. And so it's like the meals what's coming up. How am I going to also like.
have some quality moments and enjoyment in the week. So it's that kind of thing, just how to, the keeping tabs on everything, the stressful parts and the responsibility parts and the good and fun parts. So you do a deliverable in an email, trying to like kind of like a package. We each other through the week, yes. Okay, okay. So I know one of the things that I read about was the planning session, right? Like.
Tell us a little bit more about that. Like when do you do that? What is the, what are you supposed to do? I'm not really like a time block mom. I'm not really like a rigid at one o 'clock, I'm going to do this. And then at five, I'm going to do this every day. So I think of it more as like a flow to my week. So I like have these certain areas of my life where I call it, set it and forget it. So like there are certain things in our week and on our plate that we can like do once and then.
Onnie Michalsky (08:46.014)
let it go. So like I have a weekly fridge sheet, I call it like my eyes literally stick it to my fridge. And the top half is like the sort of flow for how I want my morning and my evening to go and that's set. I don't do that every week. It's something that I figured out once and I might update it every once in a while. But and it's not like this is what's going to happen every day. But it's sort of like, this is how I would feel like really good about my family like time being in the mornings. It was like an ideal.
Like kind of like, yeah, I mean, obviously there are activities and things that come up. But like if we're going to have just a regular evening at home, like this is sort of what I really like. I'd like to have time for play. I'd like to have 30 minutes to cook my dinner. I'd like for us to be sitting at the table to eat dinner, you know. So it's that kind of thing. And then the bottom half is this is what it takes us five minutes. We do every week on a Sunday. My husband and I print this sheet out.
And we say like, all right, here's what's going on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday with all of our life responsibility things. And then I have an activity idea sheet that I keep and I come up with a group every month. So I kind of look at that activity idea sheet and I say, what are some like fun and great things that we can add to the week? So like maybe on Tuesday on the way to school, I can plan on having like a little fun car game with the kids or like on Thursday, maybe after school we could go get a treat or like, you know, that's, but I don't plan.
something every day. It's like a few one or two things a week, you know, and from different categories that I pull. So it's a really easy way for me to keep track of like the good things that I want to add into our weeks. Because if I just say I'm going to do I never ever will. If it's written down, I'm like 90 % like more likely to do it. Yeah, just five minutes a week we sit down. That's how long it takes. And we're just like, it has really been like the thing that keeps the
keeps us on the tracks during the week. What have you noticed has been some of the roadblocks that have kept moms from actually doing this on their own? I think it's just like, you sort of get into this and it just starts to speed up very quickly. And I just think, I include myself in this. I was like, we never really take the time to stop and say, what are my priorities?
Onnie Michalsky (11:02.222)
what do I want my actual days to be looking like? And I think as moms, like, we all have this ideal and vision before we become moms of like what kind of mom we want to be. And it's a beautiful vision. And I think like on a macro level, definitely our kids know like we love them and we are being great and amazing moms. But when I stopped and looked at my day to day, I was like, my days aren't really reflecting.
how I want my family to feel and how I wanna feel about my mom, about being a mom. So I think moms just, they just get busy. They just don't take it on autopilot. How can I take my bigger vision and break it down into actually implementing it every week? What does that look like? I think it, just don't think that's something that most moms do. Yeah, yeah, I think so many are just living on autopilot.
and don't stop like that busyness, they don't stop to say like, what do I actually want? You know, is this a reflection of is my time being used a reflection of my priorities? Right? Like how I want my family to feel and think of me as. Yeah. And you think about it, like, if you're a mom who's working out of the house, you get home at the end of the day, every mom knows what that feels like. Like, everybody comes in, school bags get thrown on the ground. You're like,
Oh my gosh, I haven't been home all day. There's still dishes in the sink from breakfast. Like I gotta get dinner. Oh, homework. Oh, so and so has to get to baseball practice. Like, we also have to do baths and all this. It's like, it's so much to stop and be like, okay, now we're gonna do like a sweet activity. That's just off the cup and not planned. It's most of the time that's not gonna happen, right? Like, so busy. Yeah, yeah. So is the village for working moms end?
stay at home moms is that really like I think it's really for for any mom, but I mean, I'm a working mom, I work in my home, but I think, like, the flow of it is really great for moms who work out of the homes, you feel really strapped for time, you know, but I have moms in my group, who are all three, they work out of the home in the home and stay at home moms. So yeah, yeah. I wanted to talk a little bit about,
Onnie Michalsky (13:17.774)
that asking for help, right? And what have you found are the main reasons that moms struggle to ask for help? That's a really good question. I'm just wondering, like in your own opinion, like what? Yeah. I mean, I think we all know that when we, I mean, I feel like when I ask for help, I kind of say like,
Yes, please take this off my plate, but you better do it the right way. The way I want you to do it. Or if you're like asking your kids to do it and they do it really sloppily or, you know, the wrong way. It's like, oh, just don't do it because I can do it faster and better. So I think mom's going to get in that mode of like, I got, I can do it. I can do it faster than you. I can do it better. And so like, it's kind of like we bring it on ourselves, even though it makes us so frustrated that it's all on us. Yeah.
I think I mean, I struggle with this. I struggle with asking for help. I struggle with and then like you get frustrated, frustrated and then you're like, yeah, like, man, I'm trying I'm trying to do it all. Yeah, we were like, I gotta have some help. I can't one person can't do all this. Right, right. Then it gets so funny where you don't even know what you need help with. Because so there's so much.
It's true. Yeah. And my husband walks into the room and we've had so many conversations about this, but he's like, what can I help with? And I'm like, you are the husband. You've got to decide. You're not helping. Like, you just join. Just go ahead and join in. You're a parent. Like just do something. I know it's a big source of frustration. But like my husband, through us, like going through,
the planning and seeing like he sees more clearly what's on my plate and he sees through all this, like what is, are the responsibilities of the household. So I feel like it's shed some light for him. So he understands better how to help around the house. Yeah, right, right. Yeah. Now when the women that are in the moms that are in your membership, are they like, do you encourage them to work with their partner in this planning session or how does that work?
Onnie Michalsky (15:37.486)
Always, yes, of course. I mean, moms are like, feel like we're the cruise directors, but it should not fall all on our shoulders, you know? So I really think like moms can get really frustrated. I get really frustrated about the fact that a lot of it does fall on my shoulders. If I'm like the primary parent, you know, the kids are coming to me for snacks, that something's wrong. They're calling mom, even if dad's standing right there, you know?
But I think like the truth is that moms set the tone for the house. Like we shouldn't be responsible for all the things, but I think that we are the ones who want to be responsible for setting the tone. And so not that it should all fall on the mom, but I think like I look at it as I can stand up and say, like, I want to feel differently about how I feel as a mother and as like the.
vibe of our family and what our household looks like. And so here's like how I think we can get at it. And then I hope then can come in. Like, I really put like, again, I just promote everything being as easy as possible. So it's not like, oh, this is actually going to take you like two hours this week, or it's going to take, you know, it's going to be this big lift or something else to put on your to do list. It's really like, let's figure out how to manage this so that it's we have less stress together. Right. Yeah.
Yeah. Let's talk a little bit about mom guilt. What are your thoughts on that? Is it something that moms can get away with that they're not going to feel guilty or that, and I bring this up because of In the Village, like just that idea of, you know, feeling that overwhelm and feeling like, you know, not being able to be in the present moment. Right. And that's what you're helping with. Right. I think, wait, I just lost my train of thought about what I was going to say.
I think that moms feel guilty all the time. I think it feels like, especially if you have a career, it's like, it's so many full -time jobs and you're managing all of them. So like, you know, when you're at work, you feel guilty that you're not with your kids. When you're at home, you feel guilty that you're like, there's always, you know, and I feel like, you feel like,
Onnie Michalsky (17:59.918)
the biggest thing to keep in mind is like, every family looks different. So like, I think a lot of the guilt comes from looking at other people and seeing like, this mom is doing that, look at that. But I think it's very important to remember, like, we're all doing our own thing. Everybody's households and schedules look a lot different. So while one mom might be picking her kids up at like three from school and maybe going to do an activity, but you're working until six or six 30, like.
It's, it's okay. Like, you're, you're, you will have time, like it just time slots of when you can fit your like, times in with your family look different. And so I think it's really important for moms to keep in mind, because it's very easy to feel like you're doing nothing. And the other mom is doing all the right things. You know, that comparing. Yeah. And what, and mom guilt is one of the big reasons why I try to just like make.
adding the good things as easy as possible. So it's like, it doesn't have to be you're playing with your kids on a Wednesday evening for two hours. Like they don't have to be big, huge, lots of time. You don't have to drop everything in your life, but you could choose like a five minute activity and you get that like sweet connection moment with your kids and then you can move on with your life and you can go back to your responsibilities. And so I think like it's trying to,
shift the perspective of like, it's not quantity of time, but quality and the actions that you're taking, like make them be intentional, easily intentional. Yeah. Yeah. Like you said, if you, you know, kind of, if you don't plan for it, it typically doesn't get done, but actually sitting down and stop, stop yourself from living on autopilot. Yeah. And I am not the kind of mom, like I cannot just off the fly be like, here we are guys. I have this like.
level craft that together and here's all the things and let's sit down at the table and do that I'm truly like not an in person. And so if I like find myself on a random day with a few minutes, I'll be like, if I don't have something to do, I'll be like, the moment will probably just pass because I can't think of something so this I like keeping a list of ideas of activities where I can be like, Oh, okay, look, we can do this. It's gonna take us two minutes. Great. Like, let's do it. And then move on.
Onnie Michalsky (20:19.586)
I use that reminds me because I used to have a list for my kids like the on board list. And we just went through like a 30 list of things like write a letter to grandma. I love it. Like just the different things that they could do if they say they're bored. Like no, I love the list. Here's the same thing. I had all these like things, ideas of like what I could do with the kids. And I was like,
but sometimes they can go play by themselves. Guys, here's some ideas. And my seven year old will be like, I can't read these. And I'm like, call your older sister, she can read. I have a solution for that. Hey Lauren, do you have any final advice or anything that you want to add to the conversation before we switch over? Yeah, I'm truly on a mission to just help moms.
think about their village differently. Like village, having a village is all about getting the support that you need as a mom. And right now, like in this new world, a lot of times proximity to other family or friends is just not there for us. And so I just urge moms to think about it in a different way. Like it's a new, it's a new life. We're moms in this new.
world and your village is going to look different. So like sometimes it can be people, but it doesn't always have to be. I think it's really important to think about all the different ways that we can get support and they're plentiful. So that's how I think about building my village these days. Love that. Love that. All right, Lauren, what do you do for fun? Well, I keep a lot of lists. I like to, I keep separate lists.
for myself for fun for me and my husband, like adult things and then kid things. So they are separate. I like to attend to all of them, but like some of the things we do with the kids for fun that are very quick are like.
Onnie Michalsky (22:17.314)
I just bought some of those long balloon animals will like blow up some balloon animals. I YouTube it, you know, we I wrote them on C, I cannot come up with this stuff. I wrote them down because we like okay, I buy some whipped cream like the watch. I didn't have a whipped cream fight. Like have a contest who can do the most push ups who can stand on their leg one leg the longest like play I bet you I can make you laugh. You know, like these are all
minute things that have been so much fun with my family. My daughter's really into right now like trying a new food and so every week she's like, what food can we buy that is like new that we haven't tried before. So last week, we cut open a coconut, I YouTube did, how do I tried it. So yeah, we have a lot of like quick little fun things that we do through the week. Nice. Do you have a book that you'd like to recommend?
Oh, I am an avid reader. I am always reading books. I can't say that I have like I've read so many parenting books, but I can't say that there's one that I like, that I really really like has stuck with me. But I will say one that's top of mind right now because my husband and I are actually revisiting this is the five love languages. Yeah, it's more for him and I but I don't know as as our marriage has progressed through like,
not having kids and now we have kids and it's so easy. A lot of times he and I don't get a ton of like connection time with each other. So revisiting that book every once in a while I think is just so helpful. So we sort of remember how to support each other and keep our marriage going through raising kids. Cause that's so important. So do you, do you know that he has a one for the children, right? To the love languages. I need to get that. Thank you for saying that. I need to buy that one and go through it.
Yeah, so many so often with clients like that's one of my big things. I'm like, well, what is your love language? Like when they're struggling in their different relationships. And then finally, where can listeners find you? I'm at Rally the Village all over. So on Instagram, Rally the Village and my website is rallythevillage .com. That's where I hang out mostly on Instagram. All right. All of Lauren's information is going to be found in the show notes of today's episode. Thanks so much for joining us and sharing with us. Thank you.
Onnie Michalsky (24:37.678)
Thank you for having me. I had a great time.
