Confidence Comes With Action

behaviors cbt confidence Nov 19, 2021
Moms Without Capes
Confidence Comes With Action

Confidence is an attitude, a way of feeling and our feelings are influenced by the thoughts we think and the beliefs we hold but can we just think “I want to feel confident” and wish it into existence? Even though it would be nice, the short answer is “no.”  

So how exactly do you feel more confident? How do you increase the belief you have in yourself? The answer is you take action. You take action against that which you feel unconfident.

When I was starting my business, I had no idea what I needed to do. I had the education, the experience, and the background that would support building a successful business but frankly, I was at a loss. It all seemed way too overwhelming and because of that, I had no idea where to even begin.

I started following coaches on YouTube and on social media and they made it look so easy yet the doubts were rampant in my mind. The inner mean girl was loving that I stayed inside my comfort zone. I yearned for the confidence that they seemed to have but wishing I had it wasn’t getting me any closer to getting any.

I decided to hire a business coach who specialized in working with health coaches because at that time I was newly certified as a health coach and thought that I simply needed a direction. I thought I needed a layout or roadmap to build a business but it turned out that what I needed to build wasn't just a business but my confidence.

One week into enrolling into that group coaching program, I remember thinking “I can do this.” My confidence grew with each action I took and I realized that confidence comes from taking action, not from degrees, certifications, or books. Once I consistently began moving towards my goal, I steadily grew my confidence in a way that could not be stopped.

"I can do this!"

In almost every area, I had to take action against what I was not confident about. Facebook Lives- check! Posting everyday on social- check! Doing discovery calls- check! Jumping into others’ posts and offering my expertise- check! Sending emails to people I never met- check! 

You see, almost everything I was doing was completely new to me. I felt anxious, scared, doubtful, skeptical, and all sorts of not-so-warm-and-fuzzy feelings but taking action against all of these was exactly what needed to happen to make all those negative feelings go away.

Taking action IN SPITE OF the way I felt. 

I’ve shared before about the cognitive-behavioral model and how your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all interlinked and they are all based on the underlying beliefs that you hold. When one leg of the tripod changes, the others shift as well.

Confidence is no different. But it’s the behavior leg that you must begin addressing in order to shift the feeling of confidence. As you take the actions that a confident person would take and begin to be competent in your work, your self-beliefs are reinforced and slowly become the beliefs that serve you, in this case, believing in yourself.

You then begin to think differently. Your thoughts actually start to change like mine did when I started thinking “I can do this.” Which in turn leads to greater feelings of confidence. Almost like a snowball effect that perpetuates a cycle that will eventually get you to your greatest potential.

At this point, you may be thinking, sure easier said (or written) than done… taking action is hard to do and here’s why. These are just some of the roadblocks that may be standing in your way:

  • Fear of criticism or judgment (internal or external)
    • Fear can be crippling but learning how to address those self-doubts and recognizing that other people don’t think about you nearly as much as you think they do can help in letting go of your fears.
  • Procrastination
    • Procrastination often stems from thinking we have to do it perfectly and because of certain thinking errors that may be playing a role, we put off doing something that may not even take much time or effort. 
  • Lack of time
    • You may need to reassess your priorities and examine where you are spending your time. Perhaps you are attempting to do too many things at one time and focusing on one matter at a time or the big picture may help you find time you didn’t know you had.
  • Lack of clarity
    • Everything that now exists started as nothing. You may not have any idea where to start, but as you move forward clarity will come. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, but you have to take the step.

It’s not comfortable. And it’s not easy. But I promise you, it is worth it. Action comes BEFORE the courage. Action comes BEFORE the confidence. Action IS the first step, not the confidence!


Let's talk about it...

What mental and/or physical roadblocks are preventing you from taking action and in turn keeping you from stepping into confidence? What needs to happen for you to push through those roadblocks?



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