Setting boundaries is hard.
As mothers, we are constantly giving of ourselves. We nurture and care for our children day in and day out. We put their needs before our own, often at our own expense.
It's no wonder then that setting boundaries can be so difficult. We're so used to putting other people's needs before our own, that when it comes time to set a boundary, we can feel guilty, afraid, and sad.
But it's important to remember that setting boundaries is not a bad thing. In fact, it's healthy for you to have boundaries. Other people have boundaries that you are expected to respect, and setting boundaries is a sign of a healthy relationship.
If communicating your needs ruins the relationship, then your relationship was on the cusp of ending anyways.
So how do you deal with the discomfort of setting boundaries?
First, feel it. Sit with the discomfort and allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions.
Then, journal about it. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Here's a list of journal prompts to get you started!
Hug someone. Physical touch can be very comforting.
Move your body. Go for a walk, run, or dance. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help improve your mood.
Call a friend and talk about what you're going through.
Cry. Allow yourself to release the emotions. There is something truly therapeutic about letting it out through tears.
Watch something funny. Laughter is a great way to reduce stress.
Take a nap. Sometimes all you need is a little rest.
Do something creative. Expressing yourself through art, music, or writing can be very cathartic.
Remember, setting boundaries is not a bad thing. It's a sign of a healthy relationship.
So don't be afraid to set boundaries. Your relationships will be all the stronger for it.
If you struggle with setting boundaries, I can help! Not only have I been there (not having appropriate boundaries), I have since developed a framework for helping moms go from feeling unappreciated and resentful to feeling confident and comfortable with setting boundaries.
Book a call today to see how I can help you communicate your needs better!