Living the 80/20 Rule: A Mom's Guide to Embracing Imperfection

 

Have you ever felt the weight of unrealistic expectations, the pressure to be a super-mom, and the constant struggle to do it all perfectly? If so, you're not alone. In the world of motherhood, where every detail seems crucial, finding balance can be challenging. Enter the 80/20 rule, or the Pareto Principle, named after the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto. This principle suggests that 80% of results come from 20% of causes—a concept that can revolutionize how moms approach their daily lives.

Understanding the 80/20 Rule: Examples from Everyday Life

To grasp the essence of the 80/20 rule, consider everyday examples:

  • 80% of crimes are committed by 20% of criminals.
  • 20% of drivers cause 80% of traffic accidents.
  • Only 20% of appliances consume 80% of the energy at home.
  • 80% of global wealth is concentrated in the hands of 20% of the population.
  • We wear only 20% of our clothing 80% of the time.

Now, imagine applying this principle to the challenges faced by...

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Maternal Gatekeeping

 

In the whirlwind of motherhood, it's easy to fall into the trap of trying to be everything to everyone. In this blog post, we'll explore the concepts of embracing imperfection and setting realistic expectations to break free from the cycle of maternal gatekeeping.

Understanding Maternal Gatekeeping

Maternal gatekeeping can sneak into our lives when we least expect it. It's that tendency to take on everything ourselves, thinking no one else can meet our standards. Today, let's shed light on two key concepts that can help us overcome this challenge: accepting imperfection and setting realistic expectations.

Embracing Imperfection

Cultivating a Growth Mindset

One powerful way to combat maternal gatekeeping is by fostering a growth mindset. Let's view mistakes and imperfections as opportunities for growth rather than shortcomings. As moms, we can model this mindset for our children, showing them that life is a continuous learning journey.

Practicing Self-Compassion

It's time to let go...

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Stop Thinking Overwhelm is Normal!

 

We all know the feeling of overwhelm—it's natural and it's inevitable. But that doesn't mean every day has to include feelings of overwhelm. So where does it come from? 

It often starts with our own expectations and perception—we expect ourselves to do too much, think we have to do all the things and take on too much responsibility, and struggle to accurately judge the amount of time we have available. All of these create an environment where our stress response is activated—which can look like yelling or lashing out at our kids, losing patience, unexplainable crying spells, angry tears that happen over small things, downing wine every night or binge-eating, zoning out on our phone as an escape, feeling stuck or trapped, and having difficulty concentrating or making decisions. 

But it doesn't have to be like this. We can make overwhelm not normal, and there are a few steps we can take to make sure our days don't end in a sea of overwhelm. Letting go of...

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How to Overcome Mom-Brain When You're Pulled in Different Directions

 
8:11 am Kid 1: Hey mom, do you know where my sneakers are?
 
8:12 Kid 2: Mom, my laptop is about to die, can you get me the cord?
 
8:12 Kid 1: The dog pooped in the hallway again mom.
 
8:13 Kid 3: Ew, mom, I accidentally stepped in the dog poop!
 
8:14 Mmmmmoooommmm, my laptop just died. I need your help.
 
8:15 Kid 3 is spotted walking through the living room, not-so-mysterious tracks behind him.
 
8:15 Phone ringing...Hey hon, would you mind reviewing that report I emailed you last night? I need it by 8:30!
 
8:16 Kid 1: Look, mom, I found my sneakers but they got wet in the rain last night
 
8:16 The tears start flowing.
 
True Story. And unfortunately, this is not a rare event because some variation of the above happens more than I’d like to admit.
 
I am a cryer, let’s just get that out on the table. I’ve cried my fair share of tears over the year and really, sometimes it feels good to release the...
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